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Men, Gentleness and Physical Touch: A Recipe for Openness and ...
Nov 15, 9:27PM
In American culture, we believe that men can never be entirely trusted in the realm of the physical. We collectively suspect that, given the opportunity, men will collapse into the sexual at a moment's notice…And where does this leave men? Physically and emotionally isolated. Cut off from the deeply human physical contact that is proven to reduce stress, encourage self-esteem and create community. ~ Mark Greene, The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men's Lives is a Killer
Mark Greene's article in The Good Men Project haunted me all week. Read the whole piece here. I found so much truth in it based on my own observations and experiences with my sons and lovers.
According to Greene, in the U.S. it is common to stop showing a boy outward platonic physical affection when they reach puberty. I would go so far as to say it starts to lessen the day they go off to school. At that point it's no longer acceptable to be attached to your mother, so boys buck up and find physical contact in rough-housing with their siblings or buddies. I read once that boys are like puppies. They need to play and bump into each other for their development.
The only time touching is sanctioned is when the male is in a relationship or years later when he has children of his own. This puts a lot of pressure on the partner of a boy or man. She (or he) is now likely the sole recipient and giver of life-enhancing touch for this male. The need for physical fulfillment is great and somewhat confusingly blended with sexuality.
I know my former husband ached for my touch. Sadly, for deep-seated reasons I could not supply him with that physical affection, that form of tenderness. It could have changed our relationship.
Waiting until you have children to be able to hug, stroke, touch and hold 
another human being non-sexually seems unfair and sad. A prolonging of a longing. A need unmet for too long.
Gentleness transforms
Even in relationships an element of gentleness is often foregone. Kissing the corners of a man's eyes or softly holding his face in your hands are simple gestures that penetrate deeply. I've witnessed men's faces transform and their bodies ease when they experience soft caring touches. Simply holding a man or letting him hold you releases bonding hormones and reduces stress according to CNN Health.
Gentle touches say, You are safe now. You are trusted. Stop fighting your natural inclinations and enjoy.
If you are very fortunate, in exchange for loving caresses, a man will offer equally beautiful touching and a reveal of his inner tenderness. The most lovely gifts ever.
Physically connecting with your son
My 13-year-old son declared a few months ago that he doesn't like physical touch. I've reduced the number of hugs I give him in order to respect his boundaries but … it's difficult. I don't want to create an uncomfortable situation for either of us, so I abstain, but I miss that outlet for affection. I try to connect with him by listening and commenting on the funny stories he likes to share but it's different than connecting with a hug or ruffling his hair with my hand.
I figured out that my son's love language is Acts of Service so I sneak in physical touch under the guise of a back scratch or head rub (don't go there please). We sit on the couch, watch one of our favorite shows and I scratch his head or back. We both get our fix.
My younger son is still huggable. I dread the day when he turns away. I already miss holding hands when we cross the street.
The evolution of man
I believe there is a movement toward outward sensitivity and emotional intelligence in men. Websites like, The Good Men Project, make it acceptable for men to be thoughtful, kind, compassionate, tender and openly affectionate. May the evolution continue, for as the male evolves so does the female. As the man engages in soothing touch and vulnerability he makes a safe space for the woman to trust him and reveal her true essence.
Men, do you feel you get enough physical touch? Women, have you witnessed a man starving for physical connection? One more for women — When was the last time you gently caressed a man?
Related posts:
Strong, Vulnerable Men (Danielle LaPorte)
Emotional Intimacy: An Introvert's Ultimate Turn On? (space2live)
Sensual Renaissance: The Rise of Affection and Touch (space2live)
How Does Introversion Affect Your Sexuality? (space2live)
Easy dinner recipes: Lentils, chicken and more from our new ...
Nov 15, 9:22PM
On a chilly fall evening, you can't go wrong with a simple one-dish meal or comforting classic. Check out these ideas from our new recipe database:
Lentils with sausage: "Among a few staples that I keep in the cupboard, just in case a friend stays for supper, is a bag of lentils, one of the ingredients I always turn to when I need a last-minute dinner," writes cooking legend Marion Cunningham in the introduction to her recipe. This comforting one-dish meal comes together in 45 minutes using only a handful of ingredients.
Chicken Gorgonzola: Tender chicken breasts topped with a creamy spinach Gorgonzola sauce along with grated Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese (that's three kinds of cheese, folks!). Rich, yes? Perfect served alongside a simple salad, it's dinner in about an hour.
RECIPES: 99 easy dinner ideas in about an hour or less
Winter squash risotto: Creamy risotto is cooked with tender cubes of butternut squash, the colorful dish garnished with toasted walnuts and fried sage leaves. A perfect choice, whether you're fixing a quick meal for the family or are planning dinner for company.
You can find the recipes below.
And for more ideas, click through our easy dinner recipes gallery and check out our Dinner Tonight page, devoted to recipes that can be made in an hour or less. Looking for a particular type of recipe? Comment below or email me at noelle.carter@latimes.com.
MORE RECIPES: 99 ADDITIONAL easy dinner ideas in about an hour or less
Lentils with sausages
Active work time: 5 minutes | Total preparation time: 45 minutes | Serves 4 to 6
2 onions
2 cloves garlic
2 baking potatoes
3 cups water
1 1/4 cup dried lentils
1/2 pound sausage, such as kielbasa, chorizo, Italian or linguica, cut into 1/2-inch slices
Salt, pepper
1 bay leaf
Step 1 -- Cut the onions in half from the stem top to the root bottom. Lay each half cut-side down on a chopping board. Slice each half horizontally into 1/4-inch slices. Then cut down vertically into thin slices, and finish by cutting down crosswise so you have many small pieces of onion. Set aside.
Step 2 -- Cut the garlic into thin slices lengthwise. Turn the slices on their side and cut into lengthwise thin slices. Holding the slices together, cut into small pieces vertically. Set aside with the onion.
Step 3 -- Peel the potatoes and cut into 1-inch chunks. Add them to the onions and garlic.
Step 4 -- Place the water and lentils into a pot. Add the onions, garlic, potatoes, sausage and salt and pepper to taste. Tear the bay leaf into several pieces and add to the pot. Bring to a simmer over medium heat. Cover, reduce the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
Step 5 -- Remove the lid and poke a piece of potato; if tender, fish out a little of the lentils and taste for tenderness. If both the potatoes and lentils are tender, they are ready to serve. If either is still firm, simmer another 10 minutes. Most of the liquid will have been absorbed. Serve in bowls.
Each of 6 servings:
204 calories; 359 mg sodium; 19 mg cholesterol; 8 grams fat; 3 grams saturated fat; 25 grams carbohydrates; 9 grams protein; 4.84 grams fiber.
Petto di pollo con Gorgonzola
Total time: About 1 hour | Serves 4 to 8 Note: Adapted from La Finestra.
2 cups heavy cream
1/4 pound Gorgonzola cheese
2 pounds fresh spinach, cleaned and stemmed
4 skinless and boneless chicken breasts
Salt and pepper to taste
Flour to dredge the chicken, about 1/2 cup
2 tablespoons olive oil, more as needed
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese, preferably whole milk
1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
Chopped parsley, for garnish
The Nest at Finch Rest: Double Layer Pumpkin Parfait Cups Recipe
Nov 15, 9:13PM
Double Layer Pumpkin Parfait Cups Recipe
~~~for Thanksgiving~~~~
I don't know about many of you but I always host
Thanksgiving dinner, and by the time it comes to
serving dessert I am about wiped out exhausted.
Well, look what my youngest daughter came up with
as an easy grab-it-and-serve-yourself dessert!
There was a fall coloured MnM on top I accidentally
pushed down that you can't see, didn't notice till it was
too late consumed. Oops.
But don't they look fun all lined up together?
First make a cookie or graham crackers crust following a generic online or on box recipe for it and place in bottom of little plastic shot glass cups. The vessel may be motified to use anything see-through that you may already have, too such as wine glasses, ect. She wanted little bit size ones because more often than not one just needs a little taste of sweet and not an entirely huge dessert.
Filling ingredients you will need:
1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
1 cup plus 1 Tbsp. milk, divided
1 Tbsp. sugar
1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, thawed, divided
1 can (15 oz.) pumpkin
2 pkg. (3.4 oz. each) vanilla Instant pudding
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
Directions:
Beat cream cheese, 1 Tbsp. milk and sugar in large bowl with whisk until blended. Stir in half the COOL WHIP. Pipe spread onto bottom of crust.
Whisk remaining milk, pumpkin, dry pudding mixes and spices 2 min. (Mixture will be thick.) Pipe spread over cream cheese layer. Refrigerate 4 hours or until firm. Serve topped with remaining whipped topping.....and/or other options: fall coloured sprinkles, coloured sugar sprinkles, shaved chocolate.
There you have it - a fun, cute and simple dessert
for your guests - and easy to transportor send home
if that is what you do, too!
As always, thank you for your visit!
♥
~Michele
Linking:
Peppermint Mocha Homemade Brownie recipe
Nov 15, 8:49PM
Pin it.
Peppermint Mocha Brownie recipe, homemade
I had never made homemade brownies before this week. And of course I couldn't make any ordinary homemade brownies, I went for Peppermint Mocha.
Thanks to International Delight Peppermint Mocha creamer these were incredibly easy to whip up and the flavor is amazing! There is an over-the-top peppermint flavor, just enough to make you go, "mmmmmm."
They had just the right fudge-like dense consistency that I like in a brownie – it can't be too much like cake, because then, why wouldn't you just make a cake?
INGREDIENTS
2 Cups flour
2 Cups sugar
3/4 Cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 Cup International Delight Peppermint Mocha Creamer
1 Cup vegetable oil
2 eggs
optional: 1/2 Cup chocolate chips
optional: if you really like a minty flavor you could try and add 1/2 tsp – 1 tsp of peppermint extract to batter. And even consider using mint chips instead of chocolate chips!
HOW TO PREPARE
1.) Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2.) Take a 13 x 9 inch baking pan and grease it with some vegetable oil, make sure it is well oiled or they will stick.
3.) In a large bowl combine all your dry ingredients – flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, salt. Whisk it together.
4.) In another bowl whisk together your wet ingredients – International Delight Peppermint Mocha Creamer, vegetable oil and eggs
5.) Combine both wet and ry ingredients
6.) Pour into your greased baking pan. Spread out evenly.
7.) Top with about 1/2 Cup chocolate chips
8.) Pop it into the oven and bake for 30 – 40 minutes. You want a toothpick to come out clean from the middle. For me it was right around 35 minutes.
9.) Remove from oven and cool for 30 minutes before cutting
Did you know you can use International Delight in replace of milk or water in most recipes?This is especially great for those of you who have dairy allergies!
Here are other International Delight recipes that I've posted:
- Pumpkin Pie Spice Mini Cheesecakes (no bake recipe) (using ID Pumpkin Pie Spice Creamer)
- Pumpkin Pie Spice French toast (using ID Pumpkin Pie Spice Creamer)
- Iced coffee smoothie with banana and oatmeal (using ID Iced Coffee)
- White Chocolate Cranberry Delight Cake recipe (using ID White Mocha Creamer)
- International Delight Iced Coffee Ice Cream Float (using ID Mocha Iced Coffee)
This recipe is proudly sponsored by International Delight! As a valued partner of International Delight I am compensated for posts such as these. All content, photos, opinions and recipe ideas are solely mine. I'll be posting a recipe every Friday in November as a way to #DelightInTheSeason
This post may contain affiliate links. These affiliate links help support this site and the moms (and their families) that work behind the scenes to keep the site updated and useful. You can print your coupons here to help support the site. For more information, please see our disclosures. Thank you for supporting Queen Bee Coupons!
Recipe: Pink Velvet Cupcakes | craftification.com
Nov 15, 8:31PM
Pink velvet cupcakes are my adapted take on the classic red velvet variety. These cup cakes are exceptionally moist. Although recipes state that you can make your own buttermilk at home with vinegar, unless you are in a bind, use the real thing. It imparts a little extra richness to the cake. The better quality butter you use for the frosting the better it will taste.
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 cup buttermilk, room temperature
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons pink food coloring
1 teaspoon white distilled vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
For the Cream Cheese Frosting:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 cups sifted powdered sugar
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 (12-cup) muffin pans with cupcake papers. Although I never seem to get exactly 24.. usually I end up with 22 or 23. Less when I use the larger stand alone cups.
In a medium mixing bowl, sift together the flour, sugar, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder. In a large bowl gently beat together the oil, buttermilk, eggs, food coloring, vinegar, and vanilla. Using a mixer will make short work of this. Add the sifted dry ingredients to the wet and mix until smooth and thoroughly combined but to not over mix.
Fill batter in the cupcake tins about 2/3 filled.
Bake in oven for about 18 to 22 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean. Remove from oven and cool completely before frosting.
Poms hope Cook has recipe to get on top Down Under
Nov 15, 8:15PM
KICKBACKS
- Published: 16 Nov 2013 at 00.00
- Newspaper section: Sports
Only 12 weeks after England wrapped up the Ashes at home with a rather flattering 3-0 series win over Australia, the Poms and the Baggy Greens are at it again this week with the first Test at the Gabba stadium in Brisbane.
It seems a bit silly to have back-to-back Ashes series but there is a valid reason. This odd scheduling is a result of moving the dates forward to avoid the Ashes clashing with the 2015 Cricket World Cup.
As the teams fought it out so recently, some might say it has devalued the coming series just a little. That may be true but there's no other series that creates as much interest as the Ashes.
Adding to the appeal is that the overall Ashes record couldn't be tighter, with 31 series wins apiece and just five draws.
There was a time when England embarked on their tour Down Under with a sense of trepidation, and for good reason. Time after time England supporters had seen their team demolished in Australia. No wonder they call them the 'Barmy Army'.
After a couple of one-sided defeats featuring woeful batting by England, a banner displayed by the Australian fans read: "If the Poms bat first tell the taxi to wait."
But times have changed and England's last tour in 2010-11 saw them come away with a convincing 3-1 series win, thanks to some outstanding batting from captain Alastair Cook, who averaged 127, and very effective bowling. It was their first win in Australia in 24 years.
However, many believe Australia have recovered enough to win back the Ashes.
There has been a slightly different attitude to England from the Australian media this time around. Far from making fun of the 'Cowering Poms' as was once the case, now they are faced with what they regard as the 'Cocky Poms' after England's recent success.
This was reflected in an article in the Tasmanian newspaper the Mercury, which said: "The English cricket team swaggered into Hobart. With match-winners Kevin Pierersen, Stuart Broad and Graeme Swann in tow, the visitors have egos to match their huge luggage allocation."
The Aussie press and public don't like big heads and that's the way they regard that trio.
Broad in particular is a target after he controversially refused to walk when clearly out in the First Test at Trent Bridge earlier this year. Columnist Richard Hinds wrote in the Sun-Herald last week: "England all-rounder Broad revels in super tosser role."
There is no doubt Broad has an aggressive attitude but frankly that's what you want from one of your key opening bowlers. As England's best quick, Jimmy Anderson commented: "Stuart's prepared to get a fair bit of stick." One suspects he won't be disappointed.
However, there seems to have been more interest in England's dietary demands than anything else in the build-up to the first Test.
In an 83-page booklet, among the food the England team expects at the grounds is piri-piri-breaded tofu, pumpkin seeds, goji berry bars, buckwheat pancake with probiotic yoghurt and fresh berries, agave nectar, quinoa and mungbean curry.
A far cry from the days when, after training, Ian Botham and Allan Lamb would sneak off to the nearest restaurant and get stuck into the chardonnay.
England batting coach Graham Gooch laughed the new diet off with: "I was a bit disappointed because Beef Wellington and jam roly-poly were not on the list."
The Daily Telegraph said: "Gone are the days of sandwiches, tea and coffee."
Former Australian star Merv Hughes was mortified. Asked what he thought of the England diet he said: "I'd dry retch for the next three days... give me a ham and pickle sandwich."
Australian captain Michael Clarke fired an early salvo in the psychological war by naming what he thought would be England's team.
This goes against protocol but is no big deal as the England side is unlikely to contain many surprises.
A warning by fiery Australian fast bowler Mitchell Johnson that "there's guys in their team that we will definitely go after" may have some of the England batsmen feeling a little nervous, especially Jonathan Trott who is known to be a bit susceptible to short bowling.
The most intriguing selection from England's point of view is that of Hampshire opener Michael Carberry. At the age of 33, he is hardly a spring chicken, but has only one Test cap, having played in Bangladesh in 2009, when he scored 30 and 34.
Beginning his career at Surrey and Kent, Carberry is the first batsman born in England of Afro-Caribbean parents to reach the Test side.
A left-hand opener, Carberry's career has been blighted by health problems. He had been out for some time but made a remarkable comeback in 2011, scoring 300 not out in his third game against Yorkshire.
Carberry's selection means that Joe Root will move down to No.6 after not looking entirely convincing as opener in the recent series. There are some who would prefer Nick Compton as Cook's partner, but Compton has fallen out of favour.
Ironically, Carberry credits Shane Warne for helping him achieve Test status.
Warne gave Carberry a lot of encouragement during the Australian spinners successful eight-year spell at Hampshire.
"He was very influential in me getting the chance to play for England," Carberry said recently. "He's always been a great friend to me."
It promises to be an intriguing series and let's hope no spectators, from either side, feel compelled to tell the taxi to wait.
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